As of today, April 1st, I am officially self employed as a market gardener growing vegetables and cut flowers on around an acre of rented land. I've worked on part of the land for just over a year, managing a staff of one (myself) and trying to get the best results from the resources available. So it seems like an elaborate April Fool's trick I'm playing on myself. I can honestly say I've never wanted to have my own business, not full time and not as my sole source of income. I'm not the kind of person who takes big risks or has the drive to be successful at any cost. I don't have an Apprentice-style speech prepared to impress people. I'm humble, modest and extremely self-deprecating. I like working independently but I also like the safety net of having someone else in ultimate charge - as long as our ideas mesh of course. And it goes without saying that I like a regular wage and paid time off!
However, as I am discovering as I go through life, circumstances force decisions which in turn create consequences. Sometimes when my back is turned the collective threads of fate, destiny and decisions made have knitted together to pull me onto a new path. I've found myself on several new paths over the last few years, so what's the harm in willingly walking along one more.
I have the enthusiasm - or is it obsessiveness - but need the finesse. I know I can work hard. I have some knowledge and some skills but need the memory and intuitiveness for sucessful growing. I need to refine myself from being a bumbler who sometimes gets a lucky outcome to...well...what is the alternative to being a bumbler? To grow from an amateur into a professional. To be brave and to be bold. It's time to stop joking around.
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